Millions of Adults Are Emotionally Hungry and You Could Be Too
You could be starving and not even know it
Maybe, just maybe you are not in love. The crush you think you have, might not be a crush after all. Emotional hunger makes us feel a strong emotional need (Thank you Sherlock) — usually brought about by our past and childhood experiences. Many adults suffer from emotional hunger.
This can lead you to depend upon something (or someone) for the emotional needs you seem to lack. This means you could get into a relationship with someone thinking you actually love the person — when in fact, you are emotionally hungry.
This could damage your life in more ways than one. But don't take my word for it — this is what SACAC counseling has to say on the matter.
The result of emotional hunger is an emotionally draining relationship where the victim is constantly having their emotional energy drained by the deprived person
When they say “deprived person”, they mean you (okay maybe). This is how you find out if you are draining the emotional life of your partner or child.
You Are Defined by Your Social Status
Listen this is important. Emotionally hungry people may seek out a large number of friends. I know right… Do people actually do that? God knows I can count my friends on 3 fingers (literally).
But there are some among us who can’t even count how many they have.
Don’t get me wrong though — making friends is great. If you can, go right ahead. The problem comes when you do it for the wrong reasons. Seeking validation and comfort from your social status is not great. It could mean you have some low self-esteem issues — a great sign of emotional hunger.
The more friends, the merrier, right? Nope, not always. I am grateful I am not so merry in that department (weeps in silence). Maybe it’s time I put on some big-boy pants and go make some friends? Nah!!!
Boundaries Are Non-Existent to You. No, Not That Way
When I say boundaries are non-existent to you, I don’t mean you don't respect boundaries. I mean you don't have boundaries yourself. Maybe it’s worse — you don't have boundaries and don't respect boundaries as well. Believe it or not, I used to suffer from this myself.
I once dated a narcissist (Go figure). She was beautiful and everything I thought I needed. She was also my first kiss and everything. During that time in my life, I was lonely and really depressed — then she came and everything became better. Or so I thought.
When we first became a couple, everything was fine and rosy. A few weeks later, she wanted to control my life. She decided what clothes I wore (which I thought was cute at the time), she decided who I made friends with and which friends I kept (dumb me thought it was also cute), and she also wanted me to spend every waking hour with her (yeah… Dumb, I know).
I did all of it without question because I wanted her to keep loving me. I didn’t just want it, I needed it. Well, she dumped me anyway (duh). Discarded me like a used toy after ridding me of all the tiny friends I had (how thoughtful of her).
That is what lacking boundaries could do to you. When someone asks you to do something you are not okay with, don't do it. This way, you will be way happier and feel a lot less emotionally hungry because people respect you when you have boundaries.
You Are Extremely Clingy. Like Gorilla Glue Kind of Clingy
When you love someone or really like the person, it can feel really good to be around that person all the time. It’s normal — I’m pretty sure my girlfriend will certainly agree. She is clingy — but the good kind of clingy (If there is such a thing).
The problem comes when you are too clingy — all the time. According to Psychology Today, when a person is too clingy, it could be a sign of being overly scared of getting abandoned. This can be a result of past relationships and experiences — and it is really scary.
If you are with the right person, you don’t need to be scared of being abandoned. I have been in a relationship for years now and not once has she ever made me feel that way. Nobody that loves will make you feel that way, and if they are, maybe there is something wrong somewhere.
If you find yourself being too clingy, you are probably dependent on the other person to feel happy. It isn’t a place you want to be in (trust me I know). Try not to overwhelm your partner with your presence all the time — remember the boundaries we spoke about? Yeah, you are going to need to respect that.
I have suffered through all these signs of emotional hunger (except for the first one) and maybe I still do. Take a step back, think about the signs I have shared and try to find a way to avoid them. I know you can do it. Now I have to go make some friends for a change. Nah!!!
DISCLAIMER: Please note this is for educational purposes. If you possess some or all of these signs, it doesn't automatically make you an emotionally hungry person or vice-versa — but I believe it’s a push in the right direction.
